The House

The House
by Jana

As I slowly drove down the road, I took a deep breath. Coming back home to the small town where I spent my first twelve years of life had taken some major courage on my part. I'd driven into town, and marvelled at the changes that had been made. I visited the little general store that served as the local grocery, restaurant, and movie rental. I was amazed at all the renovations they'd done, but had to smile when I saw the same farmers seated at the same table they'd sat at fifteen years ago.

And now, I was on my way home. Not to the little house in the city where I lived, but to the remains of the house where I'd lived growing up. The house where friends and family gathered for dinners, card games, and even to "camp out" in our back yard for weekends. I'd once loved that little house, just the right size for my parents and I.

As I turned into the driveway, I couldn't help but gasp! Everything was so SMALL! The yard that once seemed to stretch for miles was no bigger than a city block! And the house! How had we all fit into such a small space?

A small part of me was sad as I got out of my car and walked toward the old house. I'd heard the house was falling down now, but seeing it for myself was so different. I walked up to the front door, and tears begin to roll down my face. Inside the house, everything had begun to fall down. What looked like insulation hung from the roof, and the nasty yellow carpeting had been rolled up on the floor. Some of the beams had even fallen from the ceiling in my parents bedroom. The door to their room had been fallen off, and laid on the living room floor. My bedroom door was still attached and upright, and as I carefully walked across the floor, I wondered what I'd see as I opened the door. I hesistated as my hand reached for the knob. Would there be anything left?

I opened the door, and looked at the room I'd spent so many days of my childhood. This room had survived much better than the rest of the house. I leaned down, staring at the same dark blue carpet that had been on the floor since they day we moved in. Now dust and rubble covered it here and there, but my hands lovingly touched it anyhow. I moved to the closet, remembering the many days I hid inside it, reading a book when I was supposed to be cleaning.

I slowly left the house, trying again to hold back tears. Good memories had happened here, but so many other memories of this place were not good at all. Memories of abuse had taken place here. Angry voices had filled the rooms, threats and horrible insults still echoed through the rooms. Here I'd spent some of the scariest days of my life. I'd spent the last four years in that house trying to find any possible way to escape from it's walls. We'd planned to run away, my friend and I. We told each other that we wanted to go to California and be movie stars. But I saw in her eyes a sadness, a longing. Our grand dreams conceiled two small broken hearts, wanting desperately to find someplace safe to grow up.

As I looked back at the ruins from my car, a small part of me was glad that soon this house of so much pain would no longer stand. The walls that held so many secrets would provide a fertile place for grasses to grow. The floor where so many tears had fallen would soon have small trees growing up through it's cracks. The earth would reclaim this house, and it's ruins would finally become a safe place for new life to grow.